Christmas Time is Here...

(to the tune of "Charlie Brown's Christmas)...

In a completely selfish manner, Sean and I took Kiera up to see Uncle Jason this past Saturday and into New York City to see the tree. Kiera was all sniffles and we contemplated not going due to her mood and runny nose, but I guiltily put her in the car and off we went.

It was so lovely!! When we finally got to the actual tree...the city was PACKED...I actually got a tear in my eye. The last time I was at the tree my mom was with me. We used to go to the city every holiday season with my Aunt and cousin to see a play and have lunch. Some years we'd go see the tree.

She won't remember a thing of going to see the tree, but I will. I'll remember how chilly the night air was. How cute she was all bundled up in her fleece outfit, boots, and big winter coat. I'll remember her eyes light up when she looked at all the lights on the gigantic tree, especially when they began to blink.

When I thought back on our night Sunday morning I began to cry at the breakfast table. Being there with Sean, Kiera and Jason made me so happy because it shouted, "FAMILY" to me...I so very much want Kiera to be surrounded by FAMILY. It, of course, made me crave my mother's company so badly that it physically hurt. I don't know that anyone (other than my girls...or others who have lost their mothers) can fully understand this feeling of physical pain when you think of someone. When you know with everything in you that they should still be here and yet they're not. When you know that they'd appreciate and love every minute of these special times together but they're not here to.

It's just so overwhelmingly bitter sweet...this whole holiday season. I'm having a tough tough time with it because I'm SO happy and then SO sad. It's annoying :)

But again, I'll just have to feel good in knowing that I have one more angel on my side. An angel who has sent me SO many wonderful gifts, especially this year!!

The gift of Kiera
The gift of someone who I love to watch over her
The gift of best friends
The gift of health
The gift of happiness
The gift of family

Thanks Mommy.

Melissa