scared

Ok so now that I am finally showing a bit this whole pregnancy thing is really starting to grab hold of my brain. At first it didn't seem real even though I was dying of morning sickness, saw the heartbeats (yes 2 beats!!), and could see them wiggling around inside; but now that I have a belly and basically all of my clothes are maternity it's hitting me.

Mainly I am terrified. Afraid of the unknown which this being my first pregnancy and my mother not being around the entire thing is unknown. I am afraid of how big I will get, about the possibility of having a C-section or having to push out 2 big heads, will I be a good mother, will they be premature, will I be able to give them enough attention, how the heck will we pay for everything that 2 babies need, what if they are BOTH major criers, how will the pets react, what happens if I have post-partum .........and the list goes on and on and on....

I don't want to ramble on but I needed to vent a little......I haven't said anything about this to Scott because I am sure he will tell me to relax but I don't think I can until they are here......

Anyway that's all for now.