So here I am. Finally. Finally reading, finally writing, finally getting a few things off my chest. Who am I? I am lots of things. We'll get into that.
My friends. Isn't it odd how friendships change? I swear I have always hated change, but as I get older it gets harder to accept that maybe the friends you had growing up aren't the best friends for you as an adult. I have amazing friends, beautiful, giving, loving ones. So why do I focus on the ones who I can't seem to connect with anymore? That's just me.
It's Monday. Typical, ordinary, beautiful Monday. Three children asleep and the house is quiet for this tiny bit of time.
I was listening to Christmas music in the car and Feliz Navidad came on. My mom loved that song. I cried for a minute remembering her singing and baking cookies. If I could only have one more cookie. One more song.
Soneones awake. Until later...
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Holidays...
The holidays are approaching and with them brings a whole new set of feelings and insanity :)
I am overwhelmingly excited for Kiera's First Thanksgiving and Christmas...I'm excited for new traditions to begin (even though she won't remember them this year), waking up with her on Christmas morning (the two we will have) and seeing her rip through wrapping paper (but not really understanding what it is that she's doing).
However, with the holidays brings sadness about what my mom is missing...especially this year. I know that she would LOVE nothing more than to be here with us and see all the firsts that Kiera is experiencing.
Sometimes when I'm sad about my mom I think, "Why are you still sad?? You're someones mom now" but it doesn't work. I feel like I'm redundant when I think about her and write about her and speak about her...how many ways can you say that you're sad and that you miss someone before people start to not care...and believe you me, people start to not care. Some of my friends who have lost their moms recently, like within the past fives years, have said that people have started to forget because their lives can go on...and I say, "wait until you're at 12 years and counting!"
I just honestly would have LOVED to have seen her with my kids. There's this love that I see gushing out of my Dad and Sean's Mom that I can't even explain and for my Mom, that would have been her #1 happiest moment to see Kiera grow and experience life like they're able to do.
Anyway, enough mumbling for today...Things that I'm Thankful for this year...
I'm thankful for my beautiful and healthy new family of three (or 7 including our many four legged friends)
I'm thankful for our home
I'm thankful for the couple of dollars we have that get us by on a daily basis
I'm thankful for having a job and getting paid for doing something that I love
I'm thankful for my gorgeous, caring, and overly supportive friends
I'm thankful for Nicole, Nanny and the Hices for taking such amazing care of our peanut when I can't be with her
Finally...I'm thankful that gas prices are down to $1.83 so I can get back and forth to work without crying on a daily basis!!
Melissa
I am overwhelmingly excited for Kiera's First Thanksgiving and Christmas...I'm excited for new traditions to begin (even though she won't remember them this year), waking up with her on Christmas morning (the two we will have) and seeing her rip through wrapping paper (but not really understanding what it is that she's doing).
However, with the holidays brings sadness about what my mom is missing...especially this year. I know that she would LOVE nothing more than to be here with us and see all the firsts that Kiera is experiencing.
Sometimes when I'm sad about my mom I think, "Why are you still sad?? You're someones mom now" but it doesn't work. I feel like I'm redundant when I think about her and write about her and speak about her...how many ways can you say that you're sad and that you miss someone before people start to not care...and believe you me, people start to not care. Some of my friends who have lost their moms recently, like within the past fives years, have said that people have started to forget because their lives can go on...and I say, "wait until you're at 12 years and counting!"
I just honestly would have LOVED to have seen her with my kids. There's this love that I see gushing out of my Dad and Sean's Mom that I can't even explain and for my Mom, that would have been her #1 happiest moment to see Kiera grow and experience life like they're able to do.
Anyway, enough mumbling for today...Things that I'm Thankful for this year...
I'm thankful for my beautiful and healthy new family of three (or 7 including our many four legged friends)
I'm thankful for our home
I'm thankful for the couple of dollars we have that get us by on a daily basis
I'm thankful for having a job and getting paid for doing something that I love
I'm thankful for my gorgeous, caring, and overly supportive friends
I'm thankful for Nicole, Nanny and the Hices for taking such amazing care of our peanut when I can't be with her
Finally...I'm thankful that gas prices are down to $1.83 so I can get back and forth to work without crying on a daily basis!!
Melissa
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