Holidays

Well Thanksgiving has come and gone and mom has missed another one. While at my Aunt's house with my cousin and all of her children it occurred to me that Mom died only a few months after the youngest, Holly, was born..she will be 4 in January. As much as I am happy that my father has found happiness with another woman it REALLY bothered me to watch this perfectly wonderful woman play with my cousins children. What was equally troublesome for me is watching them ADORE her. I have nothing against her at all it's just that it hurt like hell to know that these children don't remember my mother at all and that my father's girlfriend is who they associate with "uncle Bill." In fact it wouldnt surprise me if they thought she was my mother. It just really sucks because watching Barbara with them is exactly the way my mother would have been with them so while it is nice that she likes them it is also extremely painful. My aunts house just seems so empty without my mother there. After my cousin and her family left it was really awkward being there....usually after my cousin leaves my parents would stay and chat for a few more hours.....this time I felt like she was just waiting for us to leave because in truth my mother was really the one she enjoyed being with. So I made my exit... a bit sad that while I am still coming to the house I spent EVERY thanksgiving at during my childhood that it is no longer the welcoming place it once was....and I dont think it really has anything to do with my aunt....just the lack of my mother.

However this year I am very thankful for SOOOO many things including my wonderful husband and amazing friends and most of all the promising possibilities of my very near future!!